Stay Silent!

SHUT DOWN YOUR THOUGHTS

"So many people become songs and poetry 

But will never know; 

Our world is full of Ghosts of Unspoken words and memories."

I'm a quiet person. I mostly keep to myself or at least try to'. I have a tendency to wish my life was a little bit more interesting than it actually looks'. I noticed from a very young than it isn't very appropriate to talk 'bout your feelings unless someone asks and even they do ask they're doin' that to be polite. It's not really something my family does we lack a huge amount of communication so it's never been really important to me to communicate the way I feel although I've tried to eliminate the bad habit and get out of that mindset. It's been a lot more difficult than I've ever thought' openin' yourself to someone is a huge thing to do especially when you have never done it before or at all. I don't think people really truly do understand the concept of opening up to someone else' for me it's a form of intimacy on an emotional level but in a way, it also depends on others how they respond to it. People tend to retaliate not respond to the things you say the things yuh feel'. For example, if yuh' were to tell someone yuh' are suicidal' would they take yuh' seriously? Or they would just brush it off? and say yuh' just being silly' over thinking' overreacting? I've been there' for both of these responses but I've also had retaliation thrown back at me for opening up as to how I feel'. 

Sometimes people say 'yuh can't feel that way' because they think your life is perfect with all that love' money' and lavished lifestyle which yuh' contaminate within'. Maybe they think cause it just so happens that your parents a lot of money" yuh' drive nice cars and live abroad in some luxurious houses and hotels' partying and drugging up yourself with all that wealth. Maybe they say yuh' are being spoiled by your parents as they have given yuh' much of it at your age when others are just being living in a normal lifestyle'. I guess I've been there for all the above and so much more'. I've never been anything that anyone else had said 'bout me and I never will be but it hurts to know that that's what people think 'bout yuh'. Especially when based off of rumors' some people don't wanna know yuh'. Not even your own family members and it hurts' it really hurts I swear'. A lot but I also know in ma' heart who I'm and what I'm 'bout although being strong through all of this is hard' and it gets exhausting and I break' all over again'. It takes a lot for me to open up but I'm learning and Imma' getting better as times goes on which I think it's important' at least it is to me' and I own it'. 💀

~xoxo

IT'S THAT HEART FULL OF GOLD, AND STARDUST SOUL THAT MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL!